Irony at 12:05 in the am

Today's Tanya speaks about the world we live in and how the words "higher" and "lower" doesn't mean that there is more or less G-dliness in the worlds.
Because He is the same with or without the worlds and all of the worlds have the same amount of G-dliness in them.
The only thing that makes a difference in higher or lower is:
That in the higher worlds G-dliness is more revealed and in the lower worlds G-dliness is more hidden.
Down to the lowest world, our world, where G-dliness is so hidden that the world itself says - "I am and there is nothing else besides me."
And how light shines that much more in the darkest of places.
Etc.
Etc.


Now I start to get excited.
Not only am I saying Chitas - which was a hachlata I made every year of life past the age of who knows what but was never able to keep for more than a month (did i say month? let's try week) - but I'm actually learning!
I can translate on my own!
And I understand what it's talking about!
My pride knows no bounds.
My chest fills with self-importance.
I get it!
Me!
Shnooky Shapiro!!!
(see marvelous midos machine volume I)


Oh the irony.

Here I sit learning about G-d.
And instead of humility/awe in my creator... I'm getting excited over myself.
lol
:)
Joke's on me.

But there will be no kicking of self tonight.

Rather an embracing of the fact that I am privelaged to live in this lowest of the low worlds.
Where G-dliness is so hidden,
that I can pride myself -
in myself -
even while learning that there is nothing but Him.