This One

something.
about.
the.
snow.
makes.
my.
heart.
grow.


it's a feeling i rarely get growing up in southern california.
the chest expands, the smile widens.
i feel like singing.
laughing out loud.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
breathe in.
breathe out.
i love the snow.
:)

...............


i remember the first time i ever thought beyond myself.

i must have been around 8 years old.
we were in the car on our way to school with bluma, bentzy, raizel, nd, eli and myself.
ta was driving and was probably telling us to grab the cokes from the coca cola truck that was passing or to choose the car we wanted from the car carrier truck beside us.

i was looking outside of the window into the car next to me.
there was a man.
or a woman.
maybe both.
who can remember.
this is not the point.
the point is that there were people in the car beside us.
as i was looking at these people it suddenly dawned on me.
this incredible idea...
the people in the car next to me were real people.
their own people.
with their own lives.
and their own jobs.
they had fathers and mothers.
children.
dogs, cats.
feelings.
they got splinters.
they had suspenders.
or didn't.
they liked chocolate and apple pie and organic muffins.
they laughed, cried, suffered and sang.

till then my perception was this.
i lived in a house with my family.






but my family didn't have their own lives.
they were only there because i needed a family.
when we went to school there were cars around us with people in the cars.
but the people didn't have their own lives.
they weren't actually going anywhere.
they were only there because I was on my way to school and there had to be other people on the freeway.
oh how small the world is when you're 8.
and how it grows with you.

the snow continues to fall.
the flight continues to be unknown.

to fly.
or not to fly.
that is the question.

nbst cannot get over the fact the second cousins can marry one another.
cflg cannot get over the fact that people in this world are so shallow.
cll cannot get over the fact that waking up early is overrated.

i bid thee all a fabulous night.
thanks for listening to my rambling.
hope it makes sense...

not sure why i shared.
actually i do.
:)