Note to Self

Did you ever have a situation where you misjudged someone's reaction to something you did.
Or misread a well intended comment.
Or assumed the worst.
Or totally freaked out and called everyone you knew to share your grief...?

That night you can't sleep.
You are disturbed.
Heavy.
Shaken to the core.
You replay the entire conversation in your head.
What you should have said.
Should have done.
(Toss)
Why?
How?
(Turn)
When will you ever learn.
How will you face tomorrow?

And then tomorrow comes.
An email awaits.
Or a phone call.
Maybe it's just a smile or a comment that makes you realize...
It was nothing.
Nothing at all.
Nadda.
Zippo.
Zilch.
They were never even upset!
You imagined the whole darned thing.
Sheesh.
It was all in your head.

You start to sing.
Happy.
Light.
Floating.
Oh the relief.
The freedom.
That feeling of gratitude.
The sun shines again and everything is good.

You promise yourself it won't happen again.
That the next time something like this comes up you won't react this way.
You'll think best case scenario.
Not worst.
Not "she's for sure mad at me."
Or "it was all my fault."
Or "why am I so stupid. i hate myself."
No.
Next time will be different.
Next time you'll have clarity.
Or better, there won't be a next time.
:)

As if.
Just happened to me.
Again.
Still haven't come up with a resolution to this life long predicament.

Note to self:
If you think you messed up...chances are you probably didn't.
And even if you did, you're only human.
And life goes on...
So relax.
Don't take yourself too seriously.
And remember.
People who can laugh at themselves are the best kinds of people.